a community obsessed with purity will always end in exclusion. Platinum Gay: Gay man who has never had sex with a woman. human emotions and psychology is ambiguous and subjective and bizarre, and we can't try to fit people into narrowly-defined boxes. Gold Star Lesbian: Lesbian who has never had sex with a man. but i'd feel more broken calling myself straight and cis than i do calling myself what i am now. i know i'm bad at being ace- i'm also bad at being aro and agender. i'm not suggesting that we overhaul everything about the ace community to put a small minority in the spotlight, but i am saying that i'm happy to take what i can get from media and i wish that there were more spaces for sex-favorable aces to talk about their experiences. you end up feeling guilty about yourself, because you're not 'good' at what you're supposed to be and everyone says that you're sullying and betraying your community's image by 'acting straight'. a similar thing happens to bisexuals who show interest in members of the opposite gender or transgender people who choose not to transition or lesbians who once dated men. it's totally unintentional, but it ends up alienating aces who do enjoy sex. Again, i know it's simply a result of demographics, but the overarching idea in asexual circles and their public perception is a disinterest/aversion in pursuing partners for lack of attraction, usually paired with a lowered libido.
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